Sunday, April 8, 2007

Marriage?Think again!

“A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an
imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences” quotes Dave Meurer.
How true it is! The most important decision in one’s life is choosing the right life partner which if made hastily can ruin the lives of not only the partners concerned but their families and their future generations too!
As Dave says, it is always not necessary that the perfect couples come together but how an imperfect couple tries to make their marriage a success!
The real problem arises when these imperfect couples do not make an effort to sort in their differences, the brunt of which has to be borne either by their respective families or their children. But the most traumatized of the lot would be the children of such unfortunate couples. Not only are they torn between their parents but also are subject to the mental torture, of seeing their parents quarreling in front of their eyes day and night endlessly. This is the worst a child should face because for children their parents are their icons and people who influence their lives! And to see their parents in such a state would be the worst they go through.
There could be various reasons for a failed marriage, perhaps a forced arranged marriage or misunderstandings that crop up or a clash of egos! The consequence, either daily quarrels or a relationship that ends in divorce. Either ways it is the child who has to suffer. His mind would be involved in a battle of sorts in finding the reasons for his parent’s incessant fights, or as a mature individual finding out ways and means to resolve the fight, or withdraw himself totally from the situation or taking sides which is the toughest decision that he has to make! The repercussions of this could result in mental instability or stress, loss of complete faith in the institution of marriage or display of erratic behavior. Thus it becomes the responsibility of such parents to shed their recalcitrant attitude and try resolving their problems rather than tormenting their children with unnecessary arguments over trivial matters.
Many times the family is held responsible for the failed marriage and becomes the villain, resulting in aloofness between the relatives and cousins. Such children are left all alone and isolated from all the relations.
The fortitude of such children is put to test when parents completely fail to resolve issues. But kids, who in spite of such problems put up a smiling face for the outside world, try and achieve their goals, don’t let circumstances bog them down, are the real winners and need to be lauded! Not only they become mature as individuals at an early age but also are exposed to the realities of life. They expunge their sorrows, act as mediators and help parents realize their mistakes and are many times successful in their attempts.
But the number of instances wherein children display such kind of maturity are less compared to the instances where children tend to take up the wrong path.
Thus as sane and mature individuals one should think twice while making a decision as big as marriage, wherein if one finds the right match, it could be as beautiful as heaven, otherwise it could be worse than hell!